THE GUY’S RULE

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

 Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our RULES!

 ( please note… these are all
numbered 1 .. on purpose! )

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big gurl. If it’s up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You dont hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports.
It’s like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we
are not going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear
on this one:
Subtle hint do not work! Strong hint
do not work! Obvious hint do not work!
Just say it!
1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY of you want
help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy
is what your gurlfriend are for.
1. A headache last for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said six months ago is admissible
in an argument. In fact, all comments become
null and void after 7 days.
1. If you wont dress like the Victoria’s secret
gurls, dont expect us to act like soap opera
guys.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Dont ast us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the way makes you sad or angry, we
meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done. Not both. If you already
know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
neither do we.
1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for example is a fruit, not a color
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we
will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask aquestion you dont want an answer to,
expect an answer you dont want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine… really.
1. Dont ask us what we’re thinking unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have to many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonyt
But did you know men really dont mind that?
Its like camping.

–>this list has been passed along in countless emails,
so its origins are unknown, but its worth a laugh to both
males and females — as long as they have a sense of humor,
that is. (Philippine Daily Inquirer; July 26,200)